Sooo behind because of germs!!

Yes GERMS!  On Monday I was fine went to my high risk appt and had a ball with everyone in the office like always after I leave there I feel great because I have reassurance and feel safe.  Then come later that night throat kind of itched and then BAM full on sick!!  I have no idea what is wrong with me but it went straight to my chest and the next morning I had to go in to the OB because I was on my freaking death bed!  I was so scared that it would be like last time and I would end up getting THAT sick again and frankly now I realize I am traumatized from what happened in July.  Luckly after two antibiotics I am feeling better today.  So on with the doctor's appts!  Monday baby was wonderful and scored great had a flawless sono with BPP and was a hefty 5 pounds 12 oz her NST was wonderful and I was switched over to heparin twice a day to get me ready for delivery incase it happens sooner then expected.  So the second appt was the next day because I was sick I went in and they gave me two shots of rocephen and then baby was tachy but so was I so I think it was stressing her out.  So I was stuck on the monitor until she improved.  At first she was non-reactive but as soon as I drank some juice she was reactive and heart rate was better so they said I could go home to sleep because I did not sleep the whole night before but maybe 30 minutes to a hour at a time.  They also sent me home on keflex.  The horrid thing about being sick when you are pregnant is you can't take ANYTHING!!  Especially in the third trimester everything that actually works is off limits.  Not only that is I am coughing and sneezing and vomiting because of all the flem which is not good for someone with a incompetent cervix.  My pelvis hurts so bad from all the muscle strain its unbelievable and hard to walk.  But I am now over 34 wonderful weeks!  Next goal is 36 weeks and then its BABY!  Only 3 weeks until my c-section???!!!  WHAT?  I may actually make this?  I might actually TAKE home my baby with me?  We are ready for you Kinley Raye keep hanging in there baby we will make you happy for the rest of your life!

 

 

I was so tuckered out yesterday I totally came home threw something in my mouth and went to sleep!  I was feeling so sick that morning I have no clue what was wrong I just really have to chalk it up to stuff going on in there that I can't see happening!  Like gut punches and stretching maybe making things out of balance who knows!  I didn't sleep well the night before so I was really extremely sleepy.  So I tried to lay down until I HAD to leave for the appt finally had to go or I would be late and people who know me know the world would end if I was late!  The appt went well I was seeing a different doctor then mine because my doctor has me on a rotation to meet all the doctors since I come weekly and I am high risk you never know who I will end up delivering with.  Which I am okay with and it works out nicely cause I see my doctor one week and then one of her partner's the next week.  This was the end of those rotation since they only have about 6 doctor's I think.  We did the NST first and she was reactive and had about 4 good axcels in about 30 minutes so I was happy.  She was sleepy but so was I and usually to tell you the truth at the time we were doing the NST and such we usually are taking a nap!  And she is such a good baby she usually does nap when I do!  Hope it stays that way!  Next up we did the BPP she was practicing her breathing right away and did her movement and tone and flex fast as well.  My fluid level was a little concerning to me the first measurement was 24 cm and that is considered polyhydramnios for my week of gestation.  THen she redid it just to make sure and it was a 21 still high but not poly yet.  It starts at 24 for 32 weeks gestation.  But she was moving good heartrate was nice and we have a follow up on Monday for another BPP and NST with high risk so I will see what the measurement is on Monday to see if we are doing a pattern here or if we just had a off sono by chance.  Taking it easy this weekend of course incase my water breaks since there is so much of it it's more likely to happen.  But so far been really good she is moving well and keeping up with her schedule on cue.  Yes this sweet baby is perfect because she does stay on schedule with her moving which is awesome I always say she is the perfect rainbow baby for a crazy ol momma that freaks out over everything since losing her sister.  I have now been pregnant for the longest time ever!  Well last week really but it's settling in now.  I am feeling good about maybe even making it to our c-section date!  December 20th at 0915 will hopefully be the day we meet our daughter!  I dream about that day often!  I think about how it will play out and hopefully it is all the very best of senerios!  I dream of finally having Dustin run in the room with his big brother shirt on and letting him meet his long long awaited sibling.  I dream of them placing her on my chest all warm and squiggly and just laying my head back and taking in the moment and breathing in a sigh of relief and accomplishment.  I want to make sure we suck in every second of every precious moment.  I dream of watching John walk around the room holding one of his daughter's and rocking her just like the first one and smiling sweetly at her.  I dream of all the family coming to meet her and say who she looks like and see them smile and finally happiness wiped over everyone's faces.  John's parents holding one of their grand daughter's for the very first time.  John's mom finally getting to wrap a baby in pink which I am sure she is dieing for!  My sister smelling her cause yes she is a baby sniffer....LOL  Just everyone I think about each person and their reaction and the prize that this one little baby that we have struggled so very hard to get here will all be worth any suffering, pain, money, prayer that we have been thru.  I just am wanting it to please happen I know there is no gaurentee in life even then late in the game but I just want to believe that this will happen and we will not end this journey in suffering and loss but in gain and light and love.  Delanie is no where forgotten she gets stronger and grows stronger with her sister.  She is a sister watching fiercely over her little sister daring hopefully anyone to lay a finger on her.  Because that is what sister's do they protect and watch over eachother and make life pretty even if it may be dark and scary.  Why should my girl's be any different?  My son sure isn't!  He loves with all his heart and that is extrodinary these days and times.  I have no idea how I got so lucky to be chosen for these special children.  I know now why I have to wait so long for their souls to come into our lives because they are one of a kind hand picked by my god and angels above just for us.  I have always said no matter the outcome I would never choose them different. 

31+5 weeks high risk visit

This baby is trying to drive her mother up the wall completely!  Went to my high risk appointment today with the lovely Dr. M which I adore everything started off wonderfully and she was active during the sonogram and weighs a hefty 4 pounds 3 oz which was mommy's guess weight this week =)  Then we got to the BPP portion of the sonogram and she scored wonderful on everything except her breathing which is very weird for her because she always is breathing and we never even have to look just for it because she does the whole sonogram but today she was very sleepy and holding her breath for us.....We then did the NST to see what was up and she did beautifully and axceled often up to the 190's at times which is wonderful.  So after that was completed and we got her to wake up more with cold water we repeated the sono BPP and right as we put the want on she is breathing like she ran a marathon....CRAZY KID don't you know you are killing your mother over here??  She then proceeded to breath thru the whole sono and kick like crazy.  Dr.  M told me that if she hadn't started up breathing she still would be okay with it because it's more a developemental milestone rather then a fetal well being marker.  She said if she hadn't started she would have just sent me for the night over to labor and delivery.  We had a long talk about me going to labor and delivery more if I felt ANY need what so ever she said she didn't care if I were there daily and wouldn't blame me at all.  I haven't been there since 24 weeks for the preterm labor.  So this week I am going to focus hard on kick counts and averages and if any movement is not made during a hour or so I will just head in for a BPP and NST in labor and delivery to make sure things are all on the up and up.  I joked and told her that they would be wheeling a fully grey haired lady in a fashionable straight jacket to the OR on c-section date.  I just am praying and hoping god and all my angels are leading me and the team of doctors I have in the right direction and please god don't let me make any bad choices that I will regret later.  Cause I will tell you regret is the ugliest feeling in this world when it comes to the grief world.  I think about the days before Delanie even though she showed no signs to me.  She moved well enough not to go in.  I simply went to sleep with a live baby and awoke with my child gone from me.  Which I think in a way it makes it even worse.  How do I prevent that?  Each night I go to sleep loving her even more knowing tomorrow is never promised its only given when you open your eyes reach your hand down and feel that magic movement and pick your heart up off the floor when you finally get the kick or punch of the morning.  Luck for me she usually wakes mommy up so I don't have to wait and have that heart drop feeling.  She is a wonderful baby to have as a rainbow.  I just hope and pray lord please let this pay off for us and please keep her safe and with us.  I pray that if something should go crazy let my water break or her be born before anything.  I would rather take care of a preemie then go home empty handed again and broken hearted.  She is still kicking away right now letting me know hey mom I am sorry I was just kidding about earlier but I still plan to torture her a little extra during her teenage years as pay back.  Here are some pictures of the first sonogram I will post one from the second in a little bit =)

big feet lol

Doing sign language for more food please!

31+1 belly picture

Catch up for week 30

I always seem to blog more in my head lately then on here!  Hard to explain LOL  On Friday was my OBGYN appt and it was good they were busy but NST was great and they then informed me between 34-36 weeks my cerclage will be coming out which I was like OKAY and then walked out.  Then later that night I was like WAIT if they take that stitch out there is NO WAY I will hold this baby in!  So Kinley could be here in 3-4 weeks?  HOLY CRAP!  Freaked out a little and then got scary feelings and then back to happy ones.  My sister and her girls and her husband came to work on Kinley's room this weekend and we got so much done!  All her clothes are washed and ready in drawers and organizers.  I have about 15 outfits I want to take to the hospital so need to narrow those down for sure!  Was a good long weekend with lots of family so that was nice not to be totally bored all the time!

High-risk appt-Had that today and we did pretty good!  BPP was great she was super cute and showing off.  In one picture she scored great for tone because she was HOLDING her foot with her hand by her head!  The tech was laughing and snapped a few pictures.  My cervix was worse at the lowest measurement being a 1.8 which is the lowest I have been this pregnancy.  I was a 1.7 with Delanie.  So I will just have to take it easy you never know next week it could bounce back up to a 2.5 and above.  But the good thing is she is healthy and active.  My NST was good and reactive baby got hiccups in the middle of it and got very angry and we had to search her out for about 10 minutes cause she kept moving.  I will try to get some pictures of the room progress on here and I need to take some belly shots.  Will write more later!! 


Here are some pictures of today!

30 weeks 5 days!

Looks a little weird but that is her mouth opening LOL

This is a FUNNY picture of her face profile and then at the top right of the corner you see her foot and then her fingers are wrapped around her toes playing with her little foot LOL

3D of bottom of face the eyes were to covered but you can see her pretty lips and nose really well

more of the side of her bottom of face

29+5 day high risk

So today was the high risk check up which I was eagerly waiting for because I wanted to make sure all these contractions are not effecting my cervix.  The appointment was good but long but I am great with that.  She is my now my heaviest baby!  She is 29+5 weeks and already 3 pounds 7 oz in weight!  She is doing great!  Her BPP was a 8/8 and everything looked great sono wise.  My cervix was still very very much funneled and moody but it was a nice length of 2.7 which is great it actually went up a bit!  I have been taking it extremely easy at home so it's paying off forsure.  My fluid was a 17 and I recieved another 17P injection like I do every Monday.  The NST was good it was a bit longer then expected just because she wanted a clear baseline and they are extra careful with me which is fine!  I love being in good hands and with people who actually CARE about us =)  Kinley was active and all else was well.  So we are on to week 30 hopefully!  Our next goal would be 32 weeks and that would be fabulous! 

Profile

Hi mom!

Her little face its hard to view cause her placenta is in front

Face with elbow always up!

Face and elbow

Face

Another little profile

29th week

I need to catch up because I forgot to write about Monday's high risk check up!  Baby was great scored a 8/8 for her BPP and my cervix was a 2.36 it was a 2.34 the week prior so not a whole lot of change we are still hanging low.  Her NST was great and she was reactive and jumping around showing off her skills trying to act like a full term girl.  The whole visit was fine as always there in my comfort zone aka Dr. Mcfarland's whole office.  I always feel that is my safe place and they can never do any wrong and I trust them more then anything so I am relaxed there =)  Her AFi was 17 so still beautiful there as well.  So she said just still stick with the bedrest and we will see her again every Monday until baby comes =)


OBGYN check up today (10/25)
My NST was not to my liking....She had one axcel and they only kept me on for about 20 minutes if that.  During that 20 minutes I contracted several times of what I thought I was having was round ligament pain mixed with gas but now I know opps those are contractions.  I have been feeling different for the past two days having a heavy feeling in my belly when I get up almost like I have a UTI and pulling sensation which led me to believe the round ligament pain was the culprit.  I have had tightness in the upper abd but I do when she stretches too because she is a super long baby I swear I could cough up her foot at anytime.  LOL  But this has all be ctx now but I have such a high pain tolerance I wouldn't call them painful but they were pretty up there on the NST today.  What surprised me is when I got to talk to the doctor and we started talking about the NST she was okay with it but I was not.  I was concerned about the one axcel but truely I don't think I was on enough to get a proper reading and Kinley was sleeping.  So she said we could do a BPP to see her scoring.  Then I was conecerned about the contractions being so close together and stronger then I thought they were and she said well some people just contract with no change and are fine we don't know if that may just be your case.  I get that but I am freaking out at this moment and starting not to think properly because I am thinking you are not fighting enough you don't want regrets Holly start fighting.  So I tell her I have a issue with that so she said we will check your cervical length to see the difference and if they are causing any change.  So I agree with the plan of care and go back to the waiting room to wait for their sono person to come get me.  Mean while I am freaking and call Cindy at Dr. Mcfarland's office because I need to hear her voice and tell her what is going on.  She tells me to calm down and talks to me for a bit and then tells me to finish there and let them do the full work up and we can go from there.  I hang up and feel better just needed that.  The sono lady that comes in is VERY nice and calls herself granny hazy (hazel is her name) and starts talking to Kinley as she is sonoing and Kinley is bouncing around going crazy and showing off skills she has never had before LOL she is grasping with her hands (fine motor skill) and breathing and plenty of movement (a little to much) and extremely healthy.  She scores a 8/8 extremely quickly on her BPP all is well and I am breathing better.  Granny Hazy then checks the cervix which is varying because I am also contracting so this takes a few minutes.  We get a reading of 2.1 which is not to bad just alot of action down there but not alot of damage and cerclage is nice and intact and we still have room before the crvix reaches there.  So basically we are waiting for bleeding or changes in mucus to say we are having cervical changes or worsening painful contractions before we are acting on anything.  I am at a loss because hoping I am doing everything right.  I am at home now laying flat and guzzling fluids like crazy still crampy and uncomfty.  I guess we are just having a preemie and that is just what is going to happen.  They changed my c-section date also because the doctor will not be in that day so our new date is December 20th but I personally think I will never make it to that goal.  We shall see only time can tell.  I just want to FFWD to Monday to see Dr. Mcfarland again and feel that ease and relaxing feeling and being totally taken care of.  Wish us luck....