Still breathing...

Still breathing and working on things around the house.  We cleaned out the garage this weekend and worked on getting our house ready for winter and made sure we had all pipes insulated and faucet covers on and some branches that looked shifty down.  We still have alot more to do but slowly but surely just like everything else in life we will get there.  Last week I got my employee of the month reward which was really nice!  I was nominated because of my performance but also due to my work on our fetal demise program at work.  I still have more to do on the program need to finish buying flower seeds for each birth month to give to the mothers and fathers of loss.  I have been working on trying to get Delanie's pictures edited a little more as well and I really want to do the whole slide show thing to put on here with music and all.  I think I will release it on her birthday in April.  I want it to be special.  I still think of her hourly and she is never far from my mind and of course always in my heart.  This week we are planting her flowers around her tree.  Her sweet big brother got the soil ready yesterday and pulled all little weeds and grass near there.  I am so very proud of him being such a wonderful big brother.  The other day I was at work and a dietary person stopped me to talk to him and she asked me if he was my only one and not knowing exactly what to say at that moment and not wanting her to feel bad I just said he is my only son.  Dustin then looked up at me confused and said NO I HAVE A SISTER but she went to heaven.  I was beaming with a smile on my face and she prolly thought I was really weird but I was smiling with pride for my son and how incredible his heart is.  I can't believe I was blessed with such a beautiful soul.  I really trust god and I know he personally selected my children's souls just for me.  And I know I have had a hard road but like I always say If I had to choose again it would still be the same.  I would still choose them.  They are the loves of my life.  That and their father.  I am blessed even though I am broken I am blessed.