Thursday, November 29, 2012

Sooo behind because of germs!!

Yes GERMS!  On Monday I was fine went to my high risk appt and had a ball with everyone in the office like always after I leave there I feel great because I have reassurance and feel safe.  Then come later that night throat kind of itched and then BAM full on sick!!  I have no idea what is wrong with me but it went straight to my chest and the next morning I had to go in to the OB because I was on my freaking death bed!  I was so scared that it would be like last time and I would end up getting THAT sick again and frankly now I realize I am traumatized from what happened in July.  Luckly after two antibiotics I am feeling better today.  So on with the doctor's appts!  Monday baby was wonderful and scored great had a flawless sono with BPP and was a hefty 5 pounds 12 oz her NST was wonderful and I was switched over to heparin twice a day to get me ready for delivery incase it happens sooner then expected.  So the second appt was the next day because I was sick I went in and they gave me two shots of rocephen and then baby was tachy but so was I so I think it was stressing her out.  So I was stuck on the monitor until she improved.  At first she was non-reactive but as soon as I drank some juice she was reactive and heart rate was better so they said I could go home to sleep because I did not sleep the whole night before but maybe 30 minutes to a hour at a time.  They also sent me home on keflex.  The horrid thing about being sick when you are pregnant is you can't take ANYTHING!!  Especially in the third trimester everything that actually works is off limits.  Not only that is I am coughing and sneezing and vomiting because of all the flem which is not good for someone with a incompetent cervix.  My pelvis hurts so bad from all the muscle strain its unbelievable and hard to walk.  But I am now over 34 wonderful weeks!  Next goal is 36 weeks and then its BABY!  Only 3 weeks until my c-section???!!!  WHAT?  I may actually make this?  I might actually TAKE home my baby with me?  We are ready for you Kinley Raye keep hanging in there baby we will make you happy for the rest of your life!


Saturday, November 17, 2012

I was so tuckered out yesterday I totally came home threw something in my mouth and went to sleep!  I was feeling so sick that morning I have no clue what was wrong I just really have to chalk it up to stuff going on in there that I can't see happening!  Like gut punches and stretching maybe making things out of balance who knows!  I didn't sleep well the night before so I was really extremely sleepy.  So I tried to lay down until I HAD to leave for the appt finally had to go or I would be late and people who know me know the world would end if I was late!  The appt went well I was seeing a different doctor then mine because my doctor has me on a rotation to meet all the doctors since I come weekly and I am high risk you never know who I will end up delivering with.  Which I am okay with and it works out nicely cause I see my doctor one week and then one of her partner's the next week.  This was the end of those rotation since they only have about 6 doctor's I think.  We did the NST first and she was reactive and had about 4 good axcels in about 30 minutes so I was happy.  She was sleepy but so was I and usually to tell you the truth at the time we were doing the NST and such we usually are taking a nap!  And she is such a good baby she usually does nap when I do!  Hope it stays that way!  Next up we did the BPP she was practicing her breathing right away and did her movement and tone and flex fast as well.  My fluid level was a little concerning to me the first measurement was 24 cm and that is considered polyhydramnios for my week of gestation.  THen she redid it just to make sure and it was a 21 still high but not poly yet.  It starts at 24 for 32 weeks gestation.  But she was moving good heartrate was nice and we have a follow up on Monday for another BPP and NST with high risk so I will see what the measurement is on Monday to see if we are doing a pattern here or if we just had a off sono by chance.  Taking it easy this weekend of course incase my water breaks since there is so much of it it's more likely to happen.  But so far been really good she is moving well and keeping up with her schedule on cue.  Yes this sweet baby is perfect because she does stay on schedule with her moving which is awesome I always say she is the perfect rainbow baby for a crazy ol momma that freaks out over everything since losing her sister.  I have now been pregnant for the longest time ever!  Well last week really but it's settling in now.  I am feeling good about maybe even making it to our c-section date!  December 20th at 0915 will hopefully be the day we meet our daughter!  I dream about that day often!  I think about how it will play out and hopefully it is all the very best of senerios!  I dream of finally having Dustin run in the room with his big brother shirt on and letting him meet his long long awaited sibling.  I dream of them placing her on my chest all warm and squiggly and just laying my head back and taking in the moment and breathing in a sigh of relief and accomplishment.  I want to make sure we suck in every second of every precious moment.  I dream of watching John walk around the room holding one of his daughter's and rocking her just like the first one and smiling sweetly at her.  I dream of all the family coming to meet her and say who she looks like and see them smile and finally happiness wiped over everyone's faces.  John's parents holding one of their grand daughter's for the very first time.  John's mom finally getting to wrap a baby in pink which I am sure she is dieing for!  My sister smelling her cause yes she is a baby sniffer....LOL  Just everyone I think about each person and their reaction and the prize that this one little baby that we have struggled so very hard to get here will all be worth any suffering, pain, money, prayer that we have been thru.  I just am wanting it to please happen I know there is no gaurentee in life even then late in the game but I just want to believe that this will happen and we will not end this journey in suffering and loss but in gain and light and love.  Delanie is no where forgotten she gets stronger and grows stronger with her sister.  She is a sister watching fiercely over her little sister daring hopefully anyone to lay a finger on her.  Because that is what sister's do they protect and watch over eachother and make life pretty even if it may be dark and scary.  Why should my girl's be any different?  My son sure isn't!  He loves with all his heart and that is extrodinary these days and times.  I have no idea how I got so lucky to be chosen for these special children.  I know now why I have to wait so long for their souls to come into our lives because they are one of a kind hand picked by my god and angels above just for us.  I have always said no matter the outcome I would never choose them different. 

Monday, November 12, 2012

31+5 weeks high risk visit

This baby is trying to drive her mother up the wall completely!  Went to my high risk appointment today with the lovely Dr. M which I adore everything started off wonderfully and she was active during the sonogram and weighs a hefty 4 pounds 3 oz which was mommy's guess weight this week =)  Then we got to the BPP portion of the sonogram and she scored wonderful on everything except her breathing which is very weird for her because she always is breathing and we never even have to look just for it because she does the whole sonogram but today she was very sleepy and holding her breath for us.....We then did the NST to see what was up and she did beautifully and axceled often up to the 190's at times which is wonderful.  So after that was completed and we got her to wake up more with cold water we repeated the sono BPP and right as we put the want on she is breathing like she ran a marathon....CRAZY KID don't you know you are killing your mother over here??  She then proceeded to breath thru the whole sono and kick like crazy.  Dr.  M told me that if she hadn't started up breathing she still would be okay with it because it's more a developemental milestone rather then a fetal well being marker.  She said if she hadn't started she would have just sent me for the night over to labor and delivery.  We had a long talk about me going to labor and delivery more if I felt ANY need what so ever she said she didn't care if I were there daily and wouldn't blame me at all.  I haven't been there since 24 weeks for the preterm labor.  So this week I am going to focus hard on kick counts and averages and if any movement is not made during a hour or so I will just head in for a BPP and NST in labor and delivery to make sure things are all on the up and up.  I joked and told her that they would be wheeling a fully grey haired lady in a fashionable straight jacket to the OR on c-section date.  I just am praying and hoping god and all my angels are leading me and the team of doctors I have in the right direction and please god don't let me make any bad choices that I will regret later.  Cause I will tell you regret is the ugliest feeling in this world when it comes to the grief world.  I think about the days before Delanie even though she showed no signs to me.  She moved well enough not to go in.  I simply went to sleep with a live baby and awoke with my child gone from me.  Which I think in a way it makes it even worse.  How do I prevent that?  Each night I go to sleep loving her even more knowing tomorrow is never promised its only given when you open your eyes reach your hand down and feel that magic movement and pick your heart up off the floor when you finally get the kick or punch of the morning.  Luck for me she usually wakes mommy up so I don't have to wait and have that heart drop feeling.  She is a wonderful baby to have as a rainbow.  I just hope and pray lord please let this pay off for us and please keep her safe and with us.  I pray that if something should go crazy let my water break or her be born before anything.  I would rather take care of a preemie then go home empty handed again and broken hearted.  She is still kicking away right now letting me know hey mom I am sorry I was just kidding about earlier but I still plan to torture her a little extra during her teenage years as pay back.  Here are some pictures of the first sonogram I will post one from the second in a little bit =)

big feet lol

Doing sign language for more food please!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Monday, November 5, 2012

Catch up for week 30

I always seem to blog more in my head lately then on here!  Hard to explain LOL  On Friday was my OBGYN appt and it was good they were busy but NST was great and they then informed me between 34-36 weeks my cerclage will be coming out which I was like OKAY and then walked out.  Then later that night I was like WAIT if they take that stitch out there is NO WAY I will hold this baby in!  So Kinley could be here in 3-4 weeks?  HOLY CRAP!  Freaked out a little and then got scary feelings and then back to happy ones.  My sister and her girls and her husband came to work on Kinley's room this weekend and we got so much done!  All her clothes are washed and ready in drawers and organizers.  I have about 15 outfits I want to take to the hospital so need to narrow those down for sure!  Was a good long weekend with lots of family so that was nice not to be totally bored all the time!

High-risk appt-Had that today and we did pretty good!  BPP was great she was super cute and showing off.  In one picture she scored great for tone because she was HOLDING her foot with her hand by her head!  The tech was laughing and snapped a few pictures.  My cervix was worse at the lowest measurement being a 1.8 which is the lowest I have been this pregnancy.  I was a 1.7 with Delanie.  So I will just have to take it easy you never know next week it could bounce back up to a 2.5 and above.  But the good thing is she is healthy and active.  My NST was good and reactive baby got hiccups in the middle of it and got very angry and we had to search her out for about 10 minutes cause she kept moving.  I will try to get some pictures of the room progress on here and I need to take some belly shots.  Will write more later!! 

Here are some pictures of today!

30 weeks 5 days!

Looks a little weird but that is her mouth opening LOL

This is a FUNNY picture of her face profile and then at the top right of the corner you see her foot and then her fingers are wrapped around her toes playing with her little foot LOL

3D of bottom of face the eyes were to covered but you can see her pretty lips and nose really well

more of the side of her bottom of face