Saturday, November 17, 2012
I was so tuckered out yesterday I totally came home threw something in my mouth and went to sleep! I was feeling so sick that morning I have no clue what was wrong I just really have to chalk it up to stuff going on in there that I can't see happening! Like gut punches and stretching maybe making things out of balance who knows! I didn't sleep well the night before so I was really extremely sleepy. So I tried to lay down until I HAD to leave for the appt finally had to go or I would be late and people who know me know the world would end if I was late! The appt went well I was seeing a different doctor then mine because my doctor has me on a rotation to meet all the doctors since I come weekly and I am high risk you never know who I will end up delivering with. Which I am okay with and it works out nicely cause I see my doctor one week and then one of her partner's the next week. This was the end of those rotation since they only have about 6 doctor's I think. We did the NST first and she was reactive and had about 4 good axcels in about 30 minutes so I was happy. She was sleepy but so was I and usually to tell you the truth at the time we were doing the NST and such we usually are taking a nap! And she is such a good baby she usually does nap when I do! Hope it stays that way! Next up we did the BPP she was practicing her breathing right away and did her movement and tone and flex fast as well. My fluid level was a little concerning to me the first measurement was 24 cm and that is considered polyhydramnios for my week of gestation. THen she redid it just to make sure and it was a 21 still high but not poly yet. It starts at 24 for 32 weeks gestation. But she was moving good heartrate was nice and we have a follow up on Monday for another BPP and NST with high risk so I will see what the measurement is on Monday to see if we are doing a pattern here or if we just had a off sono by chance. Taking it easy this weekend of course incase my water breaks since there is so much of it it's more likely to happen. But so far been really good she is moving well and keeping up with her schedule on cue. Yes this sweet baby is perfect because she does stay on schedule with her moving which is awesome I always say she is the perfect rainbow baby for a crazy ol momma that freaks out over everything since losing her sister. I have now been pregnant for the longest time ever! Well last week really but it's settling in now. I am feeling good about maybe even making it to our c-section date! December 20th at 0915 will hopefully be the day we meet our daughter! I dream about that day often! I think about how it will play out and hopefully it is all the very best of senerios! I dream of finally having Dustin run in the room with his big brother shirt on and letting him meet his long long awaited sibling. I dream of them placing her on my chest all warm and squiggly and just laying my head back and taking in the moment and breathing in a sigh of relief and accomplishment. I want to make sure we suck in every second of every precious moment. I dream of watching John walk around the room holding one of his daughter's and rocking her just like the first one and smiling sweetly at her. I dream of all the family coming to meet her and say who she looks like and see them smile and finally happiness wiped over everyone's faces. John's parents holding one of their grand daughter's for the very first time. John's mom finally getting to wrap a baby in pink which I am sure she is dieing for! My sister smelling her cause yes she is a baby sniffer....LOL Just everyone I think about each person and their reaction and the prize that this one little baby that we have struggled so very hard to get here will all be worth any suffering, pain, money, prayer that we have been thru. I just am wanting it to please happen I know there is no gaurentee in life even then late in the game but I just want to believe that this will happen and we will not end this journey in suffering and loss but in gain and light and love. Delanie is no where forgotten she gets stronger and grows stronger with her sister. She is a sister watching fiercely over her little sister daring hopefully anyone to lay a finger on her. Because that is what sister's do they protect and watch over eachother and make life pretty even if it may be dark and scary. Why should my girl's be any different? My son sure isn't! He loves with all his heart and that is extrodinary these days and times. I have no idea how I got so lucky to be chosen for these special children. I know now why I have to wait so long for their souls to come into our lives because they are one of a kind hand picked by my god and angels above just for us. I have always said no matter the outcome I would never choose them different.