Today was my first Infant Loss Day. I didn't think about it until it was to late to take myself off the schedule so today I was at work. I worked the NICU and it wasn't bad emotional wise. I was useful and focused on my work and taking care of those who needed me at the time. I kept my mind busy so maybe that was for the best. I thought of Delanie and all the angels I have come to know in my life. I thought about so many sets of parents before Delanie even passed that have been suffering loss over all these years. Sad how I look at them in some strange ways as mentors now like senior upper classmen that you you look up to in a strange way. You look to them for guidance and know from them living everyday life that it is actually possible for life to keep going even though you feel like your world is constantly standing still from time to time. You look to them for proof that this is not beatable but liveable. That you will smile again and laugh and even enjoy the some sweet moments in life again. But you also learn that your thoughts will never be to far from the missing piece of your heart. I worked and then came home to my houseful of wonderfully healthy nieces and my beautiful son smiling and happy. I remembered even when feeling my world will crash down to be thankful for my wonderful blessings. Not to forget these beautiful babies that did have a chance. I came home and arranged the photos of candles that I had thought about today and then took them with my camera on my phone and of course posted my support on facebook.
One Candle for my angel alone and then one for the many angels of my dear friends that have lost their own angels to soon.
|For my Angel Delanie Faye taken in her room still the same as it was. Still haven't changed anything in there. Someday...but not right now|
|For the other angels I am always thinking and praying for as well. Praying for those angels lost to soon|
|Infant loss day 2011|