Monday, October 24, 2011

What do you do when your not the only...

What do you do when you not the only one suffering or yearning?   Dustin drew a picture for me the other day and I loved it but it did make me think and I was proud of the love that is in my son but sad in some ways too.  He drew a picture of me sleeping with a baby in my belly he drew the cord in all.  He said it was his next baby brother or sister that might be growing soon.  He then wrote me a letter about how he missed me that week and asked if we could go to the costume store this weekend to pick out a costume for Halloween.  So weird how he can just switch gears like that all on one page?  I am proud at how freely he expresses his feelings and yearnings though and made sure I gave him credit and love and told him how much I loved the letter and treasured every piece of art he created in life.

He is so sweet and such a gentle soul.  I am just so blessed that god chose to give him to us.  To let us learn and love him.  I did meet a new OBGYN this week that I am interested in taking my case and I really liked her.  I asked her blunt questions on if she had time for me and if I would be overloading her with my case and to PLEASE tell me now and I would keep my searching going.  She did accept me as a patient then began to tell me of her stories that she held herself.  She has been thru two second trimester losses due to incompetent cervix.  She has since had 2 successful pregnancies and proudly shares their pictures all around her office.  The office was nice calming shades of blue with beautiful artwork displayed of all the doctor's with their own families instead of models.  I liked that part.  I tried to pay close attention to detail.  They had couches to sit on in the waiting room which I loved because being hugely pregnant chairs are not your friend and they make you seriously think about hauling around a geriatric donut to sit on.  She was calm and nice took me in her office and we sat down to talk.  She waited for me to finish all my story without rushing me.  She read my chart prior to seeing me.  She even noticed I was due for a pap smear and offered to do it before I left so that I could do it under one visit.  I thought that was nice.  I agreed and made a joke about not being prepared and not shaving my legs she joked back saying I could feel her's and it would make me feel better because she was also unable to shave LOL May have been a simple joke to others but it made me at ease.  She said alot of valuable things that made me think she could really be the person I am searching for to help bring our next child home.  I would still see the same high risk of course I would never give her nor her staff up.  So when the time does come and we are ready at least things are set up so that we are not rushing or overwhelmed with the what next steps.  I want to make sure we are relaxed and enjoy the next time at least as much as possible.  Please no one ask us when that is or will be as it is a private choice between us and our family.  We may not even know as we don't know this life path we are being taken on.  But we do know we will get prepared so that when we are ready it will be a smoother transition.  Until then.  Stay blessed count your blessings hold your babies and kiss the wind for your angels.


  1. Have you thought about taking him to the Children's Bereavement Center? It really helped Dylan understand it all. I'm thinking about taking Katelyn now because she's now asking a lot of questions and I don't know how to answer them.
    They usually hold meetings twice a month. Give it a try.

  2. Dr's like that are a blessing. I think most Dr's going in for the right reason some just get caught up in everything that they loose some of what they choose the profession for.
    I pray for you and your family. God will give you the clarity to make the right decisions and the heart to know when it is time. (((Hugs)))