Friday, September 16, 2011


So many lessons this little girl has taught us in life.  I look at my husband and am so deeply in love with him.  Even more so with all that we have been thru.  I know without him I would not have all I have today.  This life that we have grown together from scratch.  He has given me my beautiful children and wonderful life full of love and affection.  With Delanie being born and then leaving us it has only made us closer.  He is what I hold on to in the storm he keeps me afloat and Dustin shines light on me to keep me from the dark.  Without these two wonderful men I just would not be able to keep my head up.  That and my wonderful family and friends don't get me wrong.  I just look at John with so much love.  He would do anything to take care of me.  I read articles all the time and see it on infant loss boards where losing a child breaks marriages apart.  I just don't see how that could or would ever happen in a marriage.  If anything it has brought us closer and will continue to.  You can lose so much in life when you choose not to I don't see how anyone would choose to lose something on purpose.  I know that doesn't make much sense thinking back but in my mind it does.  We are her our hearts beat together for her.  Our love made her and our beautiful son.  We are one heart in our family beating strong for all four of us.  Words can't say how much my husband and family mean to me.  John always asks me how much do you love me?  I always have the same reply and have for so many years.  "More then words could ever say".  that rings so true because words could never even describe nor touch our love.  He is my soulmate and I should count my blessings in this big world that I found him and we created a family.  I need to count my blessings and be thankful for what I do have and not what I don't in life.  I have a beautiful son,  I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful home and life, I love my job, I love my family, I had the chance to carry the most beautiful angel in the world and if given the chance I would do it again with the same result, I know things have came harder for us then others mainly when it comes to battling for our children but we have a huge appreciation for them and know what a blessing they are and each breath they take.  We learned it with Dustin and also now with Delanie.  Do not take a breath for granted because each one is a gift.  You can't worry about when your last one will be, because you will miss out on life breathing the ones in between you just have to have faith and know how lucky and blessed you are and know there are things meant for you to accomplish in this world in this life because you were given the chance to breath to live and to love.  We are all blessed

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