Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Not so happy birthday..

So my birthday is coming up now...pretty quickly.  I can't believe I am going to be 30 years old already.  I really thought by this age I would be done having my children and would look back on like with relief of 2 healthy children and a completed family unit of 4 wonderful souls.  This birthday not only because age is hard for me but looking back on last year's birthday was one of the best times of my life.  Last year if you look back on the October posts from last year.  This birthday weekend of mine was our coming out on telling EVERYONE we were expecting another new baby to our family.  The weekend was full of fun and excitement and sleepless nights over the pure excitement that a baby was finally coming to our family.  The light in everyone's eyes and happiness was purely overwhelming.  The feeling of knowing a life was growing inside my belly was overwhelming.  All the thoughts and feelings were so wonderful and the hopes and dreams were building by the minute.  The weekend was one of the best ones in my life and I am so very glad to have had it and I am glad she gave that to me.  But now looking back to this coming weekend it has nothing to compare to that one.  That weekend I think was the best birthday I have ever had everything was perfect and the surprises lasted all weekend person after person, smile after smile.  Life was awesome.  Now what will happen this week?  It's kind of like having the top of the line steak and then going down to a chopped steak tha'ts stone cold and in some unknown and not recommended gravy.  So people have been asking me all week what I want to do for my birthday but really my mind can't seem to connect with it.  It just doesn't want to think about it.  I am happy to be with my family but I am just at a loss on what to do and what the weekend will hold.  I am sure I will be happy but just never like I was last year.  I smile thinking of it all though.  What wonderful memories were made last year.  All thanks to my little angel choosing us to carry her.  She was the best birthday gift ever I just wish I could have her back.  

The counting continues....

No comments:

Post a Comment