I know

I know the past few days I have not written.  Sometimes I feel badly because it seems I write the same things over and over.  The early part of this week was harder times and it seemed as if things were getting worse all over again.  I worked Thursday and Friday which really kept me busy and wore me out completely I don't even know how I am still awake at the moment.  In fact I might be dreaming!  But nonetheless things have been weighing heavy on our minds.  We still seem like we are cleaning up and rebuilding like ground zero.  You know another anaology kinda thing.  Ground Zero totally taken out but you are able to clean up and rebuild and get back to life but it's never the same.  That is how we are cleaning up and rebuilding but we will never be the same.  I am feeling like progress was moving to slow on the gardens like we were at a stand still again and I want to keep moving.  So John being the wonderful understanding husband sensed that from me and started ripping up another garden I wanted changed and we will work on it more tomorrow.  I will take some more pictures of different things this weekend.  We have added so many new flowers and I am wanting to add more this weekend.  I am trying to pay close attention to butterfly attracting plants.  When I asked the questions to people on my earlier post many people replied and yes it was VERY healing.  I read each answer and really appreciate it.  It helps my brain and heart and its like hearing little stories about that day and other points of view.  I know I wasn't alone in grief that day.  I really am wanting to save them all and print them out because I think over the years I will prolly reread them to feel closer.  I need to work on alot of her things so hopefully this weekend I will be able to get some more done on her books and things.  Wish us luck and productivity this weekend xoxoxo about to fall asleep from exhaustion, more to come later xo