Today

I want to fall into a sadness today but I won't today I choose to smile I choose to be happy for just a little while.  I know my child is gone and I know I wish she was here but today just at least today I am going to choose to smile.  I know things are looming over me but today I will put them aside.  I will drive to the store in a little while and get her fresh flowers for the week.  I will watch Dustin laugh and giggle and beg me for a toy at the store and I will enjoy it instead of wondering if I am spoiling him and all the parent thoughts that cross your mind on if you should say yes or no.  I will just enjoy it.  I will enjoy him being slow and me telling him to hurry up.  I will enjoy him begging me for mc donalds on the way home.  I will enjoy telling him to wash his hands and not use his shorts as a napkin.  I will enjoy being a parent and be blessed that I have the chance.  So today I will smile today I will enjoy what I have and miss what I have lost but be happy that it was mine to loose and that I had the chance.  Praying for a better today and a stronger tomorrow 

Smiling today