Doctor's appt

Went to my OBGYN today and it was nice to get out and feel the sun!  We talked quite a bit and she told me that I am to be on strict to modified bedrest but no sitting up if possible.  Cause I have been having some irritation when I sit up.  She checked my cervix by speculam exam just by looking and she said it looks good no infection nice and healing.  She reviewed with me my last couple cervical lengths which I didn't know about.  ON the 10th my cervix was a 2.5 and then a week later it was a 1.7 that was on bedrest and at that point is when they did the cerclage.  So a little more nervous then I was knowing those numbers.  I still think we are going to go longer but I am coming to grips that we will be having a preemie in our future.  I am coming to realize that the pregnancy I so wanted will not be what I pictured but it's okay as long as I walk away with Delanie.  I know that people are prolly thinking why did she do it again but I had alot of support from my doctor's that assured me it would be okay and premature labor really wasn't a issue with Dustin so there was no real way in telling this was to come.  And yes so what if we did have to go thru everything we did with Dustin is he not worth it now?  Besides I did most of the hard work so it's not really up to other people.  We ask that all our family and friends be supportive and please keep negative thoughts to yourself.  Just remember I AM the one going thru this and I AM trying my best to get thru it and have this baby born healthy.  I AM doing the injections and bedrest and surgeries.  Of course with my lovely husband by my side faithfully.  I have fallen so deeply inlove with him even more each day.  I love seeing him walk in the room grinning cause he has a surprise piece of watermelon or drink or something!  It could be something so little but the surprise of it and smile of support and love on his face makes it feel like its a piece of heaven.  My mother has been soooo supportive and been here each day trying to keep me happy and fed and keep my drinks full.  I found that I DO need help and appreciate it.  16 weeks until Delanie is term <3