Answer...

So now that I am back amongst the "real" world and working and doing things.  There is one question I am haggled with a lot that people meeting me or that I am taking care of in the hospital ask...How many children do you have?  My heart breaks when I hear it because I am coming up with a action plan on how to handle the situation right then and there.  Most of the time it is my patients that ask the question.  So I am stuck with telling them 2 and then them further asking how old they are and what their names are.  Or I tell them one and give them Dustin's information after so that they don't feel badly when I tell them one of them is not with me anymore.  I don't want to hurt their feelings or make them feel bad that my daughter is a angel.  So hard place to be in.  But you don't want to betray in a way or want anyone to forget you have a daughter too.  I think I will just have to take a feel on every situation and judge them each.  As far as patients especially right now with them all being in my "birth" month as Delanies.  I never want to cause them anxiety or fear for their own child.  I want them to stay in the bubble that the world is perfect and nothing can happen to their baby.  I remind my self that this day which ever day I am working is about them and their baby and their special experiance and I try to make it the best for them and telling them the truth about my baby might ruin that.  So I have been nodding and saying causally I have a little boy playing video games right now or something to that nature kind of not truly answering the question but skirting around it so that I am not lieing about my daughter.  I try just not to answer with a number but a cute or funny line about Dustin.  I wish everyone in this world could stay in the blissful bubble and never be touched by loss or grief.  I wish only the best even for my worst enemy I would wish them the bubble of bliss.