Saturday, June 4, 2011

Mixed Emotions

Excited and nervous about tomorrow I miss my friends at work and am eager to get back into the swing of life.  But in some ways you almost feel like your grieving time has come to a end.  Which I know it hasn't but in some ways this maternity leave was still her time and it's done.  Weird I know.  I know that it's never done but in ways it's the end of this chapter but still on to the next.  Today I am torn between wanting to leave the house and do things and wanting to cuddle up and read a book or wanting to get things done around the house?  I don't really know which direction to go.  I know I don't want to be alone but John is having to go do a few things today then we will be together again.  I guess just sit back and let the day take me where it will.  Hopefully Dustin has a good day his lungs have really been acting up lately making me a nervous mommy.  He has never been this reactive lung wise.  I mean yes I know he has had Chronic lung Disease since he was a newborn but this is different lately and it is making me on edge again like when he was really small.  Hopefully this new cocktail of lung medications will fix him up.  He is having a small non productive cough which I am hoping is not a side effect from one of these new medications and it is due to the pollen in the air.  Still trying to pay attention and figure that out.  Fingers crossed he stays okay and these medications work better for him.  


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