Thursday, May 26, 2011

Facing the sun

So my next venture in this grief journey is to return back to work another step to a life of somewhat normalcy if there will ever be that again.  I have felt somewhat peaceful but grief emotions are like a storm and change with each wave and turn.  I could feel this peaceful moment that my child is warm and safe with god and loved ones and the next hour it could change to rage and anger.  I am ready to see what emotions work will bring though I think they will all be good.  It's a step back to life but not a step away from my child like some may view it.  I will grieve at work to with my work family I know they love Delanie to so it isn't me taking a step to forget about her or move on it is a step back to a productive life but with her with me always.  I am not looking at it or at least trying not to look at it as the period of grief is over and there for her time it over because it never is.  The wounds will never heal and she will never be far from my mind.  But I will continue to live for her and in life living is moving forward always not from her but in life period.  It's sad in a way but I try not to think of it like that.  I will try to keep my head up and bring in the positive because there is nothing negative about Delanie.  My child was perfect and positive she was all that was good in this world wrapped up in a wonderfully beautiful heart and little body.  Maybe to good for this world.  I know god didn't take her my faith is strong that he is not a taker of life but a giver and he only came to get her once he saw trouble or pain and rushed to embrace her.  That is what I must think and believe with my everything to get to my next breath. The gardening is helping and it helps that it is slow moving I think and something to nurture and take care of daily as we would for Delanie.  We also can do it as a family so that helps us aswell.  We will stay strong we will stay together and we will still be standing thru anything that comes our way.  We have been thru so much in life we will have stories to tell and lessons to learn and pass on to those in need.  

I also took so pictures of our little family fun today =)  Dustin had to help mommy water the yard of course but his way is slightly different as more water ends up on him then grass?  But they both grow fast so I took pictures to hold on to the funny moments of my dear son <3  How I love him so <3

Soaking wet!

Wondering what is getting more water?


Thanks for your help son!  LOL

1 comment:

  1. My Pastor says that God does not take life, He stops giving it.