First and last time holding hands |
My intention is not to scare you or make you fear your child's death. But these things are sudden and you never know when you have your last chance to touch them kiss them feel them, speak to them. Death is never planned in children really it is always sudden. When you look back on your day even today. Would you have any regrets to not hugging your child enough? Did you tell them you loved them today? What would happen if tomorrow you woke and didn't have the chance. This post is not to scare you but enjoy what you have and know that you have the chance. We did not think that Delanie would never have the chance to be loved in the flesh and be held warmly in our arms. We do take everyday life for granted. I even do with Dustin. I am guilty of him asking me to play a game or asking to watch a movie with me but my favorite show is on and I tell him later son. What if there was no later would that last encounter be a regret later? I am taking a vow right now. Just like when you are married you are told " Never go to bed angry". Well use that with your children never let them go to bed unloved. Make sure that you kiss them hug them and love them and let them know how much you love them each night. Take 5-10 minutes with each one and sit on the edge of their beds and tell them how much they mean to you. Then hug them and take in the feeling of their warmth and unconditional love for you. Then kiss their warm forehead and remember there will be a time when you won't be able to do that each night after they are grown. Take a breath in and smell their clean bathed hair. Take in each thing slowly and place it in a memory in your head. Live every moment as if its your last is a wonderful line that I think of often now. I do take even my wonderful miracle of a child for granted often. Remember they are a gift treat them right and with love because they are your gift from heaven. Hold them tight and show them why they chose you when they were angels above. XOXO
My heart just aches for you. Everyday since she grew wings, I have hugged Anika a little tighter, lost my patience a little less, and thanked God for her and letting me be her Mom. Sweet little Delanie Faye will forever be in our hearts...I love you Holly! Beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteThis has brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI feel so guilty every single time I have gotten frustrated and comLained over Vanessa's constant crying. I know you'd take that over your situation any day and all I do is complain.
I wish I could turn the clock for you and make Delanie be in your arms stairin at you and taking in her mama. But I cannot and it breaks my heart. But I can tell you that your amazing and your a great mother. And your lucky to have a perfect in every single way Angel with you everydingle day and I know that she is SO proud of her momma and doesn't want her to be sad forever.
Stay strong and vigilant my sweet friend. Your amazing and I only wish I was as half a good and patient mother as you are.
Lots of love and hugs sent your way!