Tuesday, April 26, 2011


So I made a list of things I would like to get done in the next few months to keep my mind occupied and since I do not seem to think clearly these days I figure keeping a spiral notebook with the list might help me organize my thoughts and write things down.  Not feeling related but just task related.  There is alot I am wanting to get done around the house especially for Delanie like the garden's yes they are growing.  We were going to do one main fenced in garden but now John is wanting to do multiple ones around the house so that she surrounds the house.  Which is a great idea <3  He is so sweet and good to us and I am happy he is getting into this.  First thing we have decided to do also is remove our above ground pool.  This was a hard choice since it is nice having it but the upkeep cost and time is really getting up there.  It is a very nice pool to from a pool company not a store or anything and it is all set up so nicely just really doesn't fit our life style anymore.  We are too busy and we love being outside we are just going to take it down and make another stoned BBQ patio there.  I don't know why being outside is so relaxing now being inside is not as bad though.  Some things do get easier.  I remember the first day I was alone I couldn't stay inside all day and cried all day long.  I am alone now but getting things done trying to keep my mind and body busy.  I really want to go on a walk to start exersizing but I an nervous about it since I do poop out after a while.  I have lost 23 pounds since the day she was born.  I am hoping to keep it up to be really healthy in life.  My family now and next child deserve that type of mom.  Food has no real appeal to me anyways it is really hard to eat and then I am sick most of the time afterwards.  I eat small amounts very slowly and that seems to help somewhat.  Hopefully I can get some things on my list done.  I know I would like to get all her pictures off the computer and printed but I am scared the photo place will not let me print the pictures of my baby but I guess I will know that once I get there.  Going to eat lunch with Dustin again today I love being with him and hate being without him.  

1 comment:

  1. why do you think they wont allow you to print her photos? Just a fear? We printed ours at walmart and didnt have any issues at all...and I have some that Ive never posted before where she had aready passed. So please dont let that stop you. She IS your daughter and having photos around IS normal if it makes you happy!!!! I have 4 just in my living room and one in our bedroom! My belief is others know we had her and know we lost her so they should know she is in our home. lots of love and hugs