Sunday, April 10, 2011
Woke up this morning to two infected breasts...thank you so much. I called the doctor and I can stay home until the fever gets above 100.4 and rotate ice packs and she called in a antibiotic and I will be seen in the office tomorrow. I think someone hates me. We are trying to find sage tea it is supposed to help you dry up. John is out right now buying it and buying a couple editions of the paper with our daughter in it. I am so tired but do not want to sleep dreams can be cruel. I am thinking its been 4 days just 4 days. I never got up the courage or strength to look at her pictures last night. I might try that today. We will just wait and see. I still haven't talked to anyone but I know I might start soon. John will go back to work tomorrow. I will be alone and life will start to almost turn again in this house. Dustin will go back to school. Everyone back at work except me for 6 more weeks. I will need that time though. We went the HEB earlier its hard every pregnant woman I see I wonder if there baby is alive and doing well and I wonder if they were due on the same date. There is part of me that doesn't want to go back to work until after my due date just because I would read on the chart and relaize that could be my baby. I will work that out later. I will just have to suck it up because they have already suffered long enough at my expense at work because they wanted me to have a baby and I didn't even get that for all their troubles. I just feel as if I let everyone down and my body is always working against me one way or another.