Why...

Is opening one door so hard.  I stare at her door all the time from my bed I feel the need to go in there but still it remains closed. I have not yet been inside her beautiful room and I don't know when I will be able to enter this amazing emotional door that seems to taunt me from a few feet away.  Sometimes loss takes away such simple things and feelings.  Like entering a simple door...who would have thought it would be so hard?  People who have not had a loss of a child may not understand all these simple things being so hard or think in their head I might be being a bit dramatic.  I can't say before this all happened to me that I would have not thought the same thing.  But it might be harder also because no one has been able to view her to see she was so real and not just a fetus she was a fully grown baby with a huge personality with fiesty strawberry blonde hair that went dark in some of the light changes in the room.  She had peircing blue eyes per her daddy and sweet chubby cheeks and her daddy's nose and cheeks and chin.  How do you not mourn something to perfect that is lost.